What Is Going on….?

Hi beautiful blogging babes,

The last few weeks have been, for some reason, rough on me. Maybe its knowing that my brother’s “angel-versery” is coming up this Friday, June 8th, and going through all of the things that happened leading up to that day…I still remember everything I did that week and it replays in my head when this time of year comes back around.

I realize that I haven’t been taking very good care of myself lately, and I do not like that at all. Mind, body, and soul, are all important and need to be in sync with one another to keep the everything in motion. When I am busy, I completely forget everything that’s on my mind, but I also just block everything out as well. When I come to I find that my mind worked with my body, but I just had no thoughts…

Sometimes, I feel as though I am walking outside of my body, I feel myself moving but I don’t know whats forcing me to make the motions…It is one of the strangest feelings I’ve ever felt. To know your body is moving and you don’t feel as though you are in control.

Then, there are the dreams…the dreams that don’t stop all night. Dreams that play over what happened during your waking life, and being so real that down the line you think of something but don’t remember if you dreamt it or if it really happened! The dreams get more and more vivid before the waking hours such as in a regular sleep cycle, but I INTENTIONALLY wake myself up because I am so sick of dreaming by that point that I just want to be awake! Imagine your mind never feeling fully rested and affecting your whole sleep and waking patterns…

I just find myself in a somber state lately. Alive, living, but…not really noticing…I know it sounds like the craziest thing ever and it is so hard to explain to people. I just want to know if I am truly crazy and alone in this world, or if someone can relate to this?!

 

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