Vlog-Bipolar Depression

Hi guys,

I was on my lunch break and I decided to make a video regarding something that plagues my life, depression (bipolar disorder). I am not ashamed to put this out there because I know SO many people struggle with this daily.

I made a short video and I hope that it may help someone who many be going through the same thing feel not as alone in the world…

Thanks 🙏

Featured photo credits The Cleveland Clinic 4 Myths You Shouldn’t Believe About Bipolar Disorder

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8 thoughts on “Vlog-Bipolar Depression

    1. It’s so exhausting for the person suffering from it it’s exhausting for the people around that person…it truly is a disease that affects everyone involved! I’m sick of the roller coaster and the inevitable though that whenever I’m happy and doing well that eventually it’s going to crack…it’s too much

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I wish more people would understand our struggle. I am lucky to have a wonderful partner in my life who has stayed with me for almost ten years through it all. Hes been very supportive of my struggles but still, I feel as though, its too much for him to understand or grasp, as it is with many people who don’t suffer personally with depression or other mental health issues. The older I have gotten the worse it has been. I have finally, in many ways learned how to take care of myself through it and not stay in situations that make it worse for me. I refuse to do that ever again. I was in a terrible position at a job I had and left, I was the head person there! I couldn’t take it anymore. Every day I came home I would sob because the pressure was too much, the anxiety was too much there was too much pushing for unrealistic goals…it was just. to. much. I then got another job which I stayed at for exactly one year. It wasn’t a bad job at all, it just wasn’t the job for me. No one really understands the feeling of not being able to physically or mentally doing something that you cant do! Everyone in my family is from that old school mentality of just sticking it out. And I was like that too, until I came to this realization. I am in a place now where I am discovering myself and just learning. I will be 30 in December and I feel like I am just figuring out life. A lot of my life has been put on hold since the death of my brother almost five years ago. I know it isn’t an excuse, but its been hard for me to move forward with my life. Its hard for me to do anything sometimes. I was doing so well then I crashed down the hole. I just wish this could all go away and I could feel the feelings of a “normal person.” But who the hell is a “normal person?” weve all got our issues right!?

        Liked by 1 person

  1. You are not alone. My heart hurts for you! This disease sucks!!! The baffling part that most people can’t understand it that there is no rhyme or reason to it. Yes, we can ruin ourselves. Yes we feel guilty and responsible because we feel like we are ruining our loved ones lives sometimes as well. Yes what we have is not fun…at all. But we are what we are and what we are is comprised of so much more than just our diagnosis! Everything you said, I have said and felt. I too wish I could help all of us because this is no joke what we go through. Don’t stop talking about it. The more you share it, the stronger you become because when you let us in, you don’t carry the burden alone anymore. I think about all of us and more so when I am in the hole because knowing I’m not alone helps. I believe it helps. It’s tough for me now to even be around people without some kind of mental illness honestly, because it has become a real chore to explain myself or try to be fake and act a certain way. Dammit we are awesome people and we deserve to be happy! Today, right now, I am happy. I’m not afraid to be happy even though I know it will go away for a bit. Look at it like this, your happiness doesn’t just stop when you go down. More like, it gets interrupted or paused. You can’t help or control the depressive episodes and they aren’t your fault. You don’t have to sacrifice happiness because your depression is not unhappiness, it is an illness right? That’s kind of how I have grown to see it. I am grateful for my happiness and more so when my depression returns because when happiness is unpaused, it’s wonderful. It doesn’t get lost or lessen any, just paused. Sounds easy enough and yes, I left out the part of how it’s taken me years to learn this or how hard the struggle really is for me still all the time. Lol. I am so not perfect and will never be cured but I will be a happy person!!! Even when I am sick and on the verge of giving up, I will not let this thing I have claim the awesome person that I really am! Hugs and love! Hugs and love!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Wow, thank you so much for you words of wisdom….I love this “You don’t have to sacrifice happiness because your depression is not unhappiness, it is an illness right?” it is so true! Thank you so much for reading my post and giving me a new outlook on how to deal with this disease. Right now, I have been going through a really tough episode, today is the anniversary of my brother’s death and I think knowing that it has been looming around the corner has been making it 10x worse. I hope one day everything will balance itself out and I can be “normal”? But then again…who is really normal? 😉

      Like

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